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A community of cancer survivors supporting each other.

Don't want it!

I don't know how others with cancer feel but me, I dislike being pitied when someone finds out my cancer diagnosis. I "hate" hearing the clucking sounds which inevitably follow and are usually from those who actually could care less, yet want to show concern.

I have breast cancer. It came as a shock to me. I'm a bit frightened at the pathology report as well as facing 16 + 4 external beam radiation treatments as some of you are aware. Will I get through it? Yep. Will I have the support of close friends and close family? Yep. Will it "take care" of the cancer? Don't know.

I have gifted and caring physicians and staff taking care of me. I have food on the table, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a husband (for 40-plus years) who cares for me without complaint, a caring and concerned daughter, money to pay bills. All of these blessings are by the grace of God who loves me unconditionally. I simply cannot feel sorry for myself as there are so many who, unfortunately, do not even possess the basics of life here on earth.

Yes, I wish I had never gotten breast cancer (who doesn't?). I'm fortunate it was "caught early."

I love and am loved. I just cannot tolerate anyone's pity.

Laurie likes this post.
Thomas, Christine threw a punch at your cancer.
Thomas, Marcia sent you a prayer.
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That's exactly how I feel! But with lots of support and advice from BFAC I am getting good at dealing with it. I just stayed home to avoid that kind of stuff (plus I was too sick to venture far anyway). Humour has helped a lot for me so far.
Pati likes this comment
Thank you Thomas, I really appreciate it.
For me, pity always evoked feelings of fear and I dislike feeling fear for longer than is necessary. More so than pity, I PASSIONATELY dislike when you run into someone and they pretend to not know you had ca. That person is downright lying to you, and I can't tolerate lying. Some may say that the person just doesn't know what to say or how to handle it; I say "GROW UP and GROW a PAIR!! What I would say is, "I heard you had cancer and I'm sorry you had to go through that ordeal. But you lseem to have a grip on this and I wish you well". SIMPLE!
Pati likes this comment
I love your post about not wanting to be pitied.
Thats exactly how I feel, I dont mind people knowing I have or had cancer but dont treat me as weak and to be pitied.
Pati likes this comment
I'm 100% with you. nothing worse than "oh, you poor thing".

However I do think that most people don't know what to say. It makes them uncomfortable. I guess a platitude is better than running away screaming!
Pati likes this comment
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Vital Info


November 5, 2016

Orlando, Florida

May 19, 1951

Cancer Fighter

Cancer Info

Breast Cancer

not yet known

November 2, 2016

Right now, the word itself

Just starting my journey

Pray for me

pre-cancer in one breast with every 6-month follow-ups. Only had "aching" in breast with cancer with my arm pit hurting when touched.

don't yet know

again, don't yet know



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