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A community of cancer survivors supporting each other.

Don't want it!

I don't know how others with cancer feel but me, I dislike being pitied when someone finds out my cancer diagnosis. I "hate" hearing the clucking sounds which inevitably follow and are usually from those who actually could care less, yet want to show concern.

I have breast cancer. It came as a shock to me. I'm a bit frightened at the pathology report as well as facing 16 + 4 external beam radiation treatments as some of you are aware. Will I get through it? Yep. Will I have the support of close friends and close family? Yep. Will it "take care" of the cancer? Don't know.

I have gifted and caring physicians and staff taking care of me. I have food on the table, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, a husband (for 40-plus years) who cares for me without complaint, a caring and concerned daughter, money to pay bills. All of these blessings are by the grace of God who loves me unconditionally. I simply cannot feel sorry for myself as there are so many who, unfortunately, do not even possess the basics of life here on earth.

Yes, I wish I had never gotten breast cancer (who doesn't?). I'm fortunate it was "caught early."

I love and am loved. I just cannot tolerate anyone's pity.

Laurie likes this post.
Thomas, Christine threw a punch at your cancer.
Thomas, Marcia sent you a prayer.
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That's exactly how I feel! But with lots of support and advice from BFAC I am getting good at dealing with it. I just stayed home to avoid that kind of stuff (plus I was too sick to venture far anyway). Humour has helped a lot for me so far.
Pati likes this comment
Thank you Thomas, I really appreciate it.
For me, pity always evoked feelings of fear and I dislike feeling fear for longer than is necessary. More so than pity, I PASSIONATELY dislike when you run into someone and they pretend to not know you had ca. That person is downright lying to you, and I can't tolerate lying. Some may say that the person just doesn't know what to say or how to handle it; I say "GROW UP and GROW a PAIR!! What I would say is, "I heard you had cancer and I'm sorry you had to go through that ordeal. But you lseem to have a grip on this and I wish you well". SIMPLE!
Pati likes this comment
I love your post about not wanting to be pitied.
Thats exactly how I feel, I dont mind people knowing I have or had cancer but dont treat me as weak and to be pitied.
Pati likes this comment
I'm 100% with you. nothing worse than "oh, you poor thing".

However I do think that most people don't know what to say. It makes them uncomfortable. I guess a platitude is better than running away screaming!
Pati likes this comment
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Vital Info

Posts

November 5, 2016

Orlando, Florida, USA

May 19, 1951

Cancer Fighter

Cancer Info

Breast Cancer

not yet known

November 2

Right now, the word itself

Just starting my journey

Pray for me

pre-cancer in one breast with every 6-month follow-ups. Only had "aching" in breast with cancer with my arm pit hurting when touched.

don't yet know

again, don't yet know

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